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Bigfoot Beard Contest

from Spooky Beard Campfire Songs by Opinionated Whiskers

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about

A true story. Everyone should enter a Bigfoot beard contest!

lyrics

Walking in the forest I heard a cheer
And the stomping of big feet that sounded near
I peered through the branches and to my surprise
Saw a crowd of giant Sasquatch right before my eyes

Several of them stood before the crowd
Fluffing their facial hair and looking proud
That’s when I realized I needn’t fear
It was a friendly competition for the very best beard

Bigfoot beard contest
Which Sasquatch’s beard is best
They’re hairy all over, as you might have guessed
But their beards were spectacular I can attest

Some beards were long, some of them were wide
Some were dipped in fruit and were colorfully dyed
They looked like they were having lots of fun.
But truth be told, there was especially one

Whose beard looked better than all the rest
From my hiding place, I was very impressed
But when I turned to go, imagine my surprise
To be staring into curious Bigfoot eyes

Bigfoot beard contest
Which Sasquatch’s beard is best
They’re hairy all over, as you might have guessed
But their beards were spectacular I can attest

He looked at my beard, then pointed at the stage
When I stood before the crowd, the champ howled in rage
I don’t like to brag, but my beard is a sight
And it was clear to all that I had won this fight

Then the big Sasquatch bowed down to me
And invited me to join their community
And though he may be a Bigfoot, and I may be man
Together we are joined in the bearded clan

Bigfoot beard contest
It turns out my beard is best
I’m hairy all over, as you might have guessed
But my beard is spectacular they can attest

Bigfoot beard contest
Which Sasquatch’s beard is best
They’re hairy all over, as you might have guessed
But their beards are spectacular I can attest

credits

from Spooky Beard Campfire Songs, released June 30, 2021

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Opinionated Whiskers

We've dedicated our lives to the gospel of the whisker.

Thank you for growing yours!

Or, if you haven't, we hope to show you the error of your ways.

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