1. |
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And then I awoke surrounded by trees
My car crumpled metal and glass
The rain and the dark both assaulted my eyes
The cliff cut me off from my past
I stumbled along for shelter or hope
Through fingers of thickening trees
I found a dirt path, then a small mountain road
Then a sign near too dirty to read
It said, “Welcome to Pogonos Crossing
Population 203
If you have a beard, we invite you to join
Our fast growing community”
An odd sign perhaps, no matter to me
As long as someone had a phone
Sure I had a beard, but I wouldn’t stay
I just needed help to get home
And when I crossed the town line
I felt an itch on my chin
And a scratch in my mind
Like someone trying to get in
“Welcome to Pogonos Crossing
Population 203
If you have a beard, we invite you to join
Our fast growing community
Welcome to Pogonos Crossing
Population 204
If you have a beard, we invite you to join
And to stay forevermore"
|
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2. |
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Walking into town
Men crowd the central square
Each man bearing
A thriving growth
Of rippling facial hair
They turn to me as one
See the beard that’s on my face
Open their arms
And welcome me home
Say I belong in this place
They say
The man makes the beard makes the
Man makes the beard
Makes the man makes the beard
That makes the man
The beard makes the man makes the
Beard makes the man
Makes the beard makes the man
Who makes the beard
I ask about a phone
If anyone could lend a hand
They only smile
And say not to fret
This is exactly as fate has planned
They say the time is here
That the pileous ones foretold
They open their arms
And urge that I come
Into the warmth of their wooly fold
Join us, join us, come be as one
With the great ancient bearded soul
Join us, join us, come be as one
Join your beard to the growing whole
Join us, join us come be as one
Like every hair upon a face
Join us, join us, come be as one
We’ve saved you a special place
The man makes the beard makes the
Man makes the beard
Makes the man makes the beard
That makes the man
The beard makes the man makes the
Beard makes the man
Makes the beard makes the man
Who makes the beard
The beard wears the man that wears the
The beard that wears the man that
Wears the beard that wears the man
Who wears the beard
And the man wears the beard that wears the
Man that wears the beard that
Wears the man that wears the beard
Who wears the man
|
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3. |
Pogonos Awakes
03:03
|
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The crowd grows still as silence descends
And a charge in the air makes my beard stand on end
Something is coming, that much is clear
And when it arrivies, I know I should not be here
My feet want to flee, but somehow they can’t
As the bearded men start their uncanny chant
It starts as a whsiper, then becomes a roar
As the beard on my face dances more and more
Pogonos Pogonos
And the ancient Pogonos awakes
The earth shimmers and the air quakes
Pogonos comes, Pogonos breaks
Into the world he longs to remake
His form is horrid, it tears my mind
At that moment all sanity is left behind
He is a giant face, oozing and cold
And his beard is a terrifying sight to behold
Not made of hair, but of screaming men
Reaching desperately for hope they’ll never have again
Their feet embedded in the old god’s face
Their eyes always searching for death’s embrace
And the ancient Pogonos awakes
The earth shimmers and the air quakes
Pogonos comes, Pogonos breaks
Into the world he longs to remake
Pogonos is here
To fulfill his ancient plan
Pogonos is here
To force a beard to grow on every man
Pogonos is here
On every woman and child too
Pogonos is here
And Pogonos is here for you
And the ancient Pogonos awakes
The earth shimmers and the air quakes
Pogonos comes, Pogonos breaks
And the fates of all beardless are at stake
And the ancient Pogonos awakes
The earth shimmers and the air quakes
Pogonos comes, Pogonos breaks
Into the world he longs to remake
|
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4. |
The Greatest Sacrifice
02:54
|
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Pogonos is here
The chants increase
I feel my facial hair surge and swell
And I know then
My beard is somehow a part
Of this town’s wretched summoning spell
I need to put
An end to this
Before the beast makes it all the way through
I love my beard
But nonetheless
I know what I have to do
I’ve got to burn my beard
Burn it away
I’ve got to burn my beard
Set it ablaze
I’ve got to burn my beard
Not a hair can stay
I’ve got to burn my beard
’Til it’s all burned away
I carry moustache wax
Everywhere with me
It is important to show your style
I rub it in
All through my beard
And as I do I start to smile
This is gonna hurt
And probably will
Be the end of me I know
But if I’ve got
To leave this life
A blazing beard is the way to go
I’ve got to burn my beard
Burn it away
I’ve got to burn my beard
Set it ablaze
I’ve got to burn my beard
Not a hair can stay
I’ve got to burn my beard
’Til it’s all burned away
I always knew my habit of smoking would kill me
As I reach in my pocket for a match
I light it up, hold it to my beard
And watch the flame flare and jump and catch
Pogonos is still held by the ritual chant
And so to my beard is still bound
As my facial hair burns, so does he as well
And he ignites with a ghastly sound
I’ve got to burn my beard
Burn it away
I’ve got to burn my beard
Set it ablaze
I’ve got to burn my beard
Not a hair can stay
I’ve got to burn my beard
’Til it’s all burned away
I’ve got to burn my beard
Burn it away
I’ve got to burn my beard
Set it ablaze
I’ve got to burn my beard
Not a hair can stay
I’ve got to burn my beard
’Til it’s all burned away
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5. |
Postlude
03:04
|
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It has been five years
Since I lit up like a star
I survived, but my face
Is a solid mass of scar
I saved the world, but at what price?
I no longer can grow a beard
All my reason, all I am
All has burned and disappeared
But I have found the ancient scroll
Of the Pogonomicon
I know the way to call him back
To this realm from the beyond
He whispers, if I summon him
Then my beard can be remade
To end the world, but save my beard
Should I make that desperate trade?
Pogonos …
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